When they say...they mean..

Are you fluent in car talk?

When they say: "It's in really great shape for a 36 year old car."
They mean: "It runs but it needs new everything."

When they say: "There are no documents because I did all the service work myself."
They mean: "The car has not been serviced since 'Nam."

When they say: "My Porsche 914 is rust free." 
They mean: "There's rust in the hell hole."

When they say: "There's no rot."
They mean: "It's rusty as hell, there just arent't gaping holes yet."

When they say: "I really want you to see the car in person, just so you're not disappointed and there are no surprises."
They mean: "Everything I've told you on the phone is a lie."

When they say:"It was my brother's wife's hairdresser's pastor's dog walker's grandmother's car."
They mean; "I don't own the car, I'm padding the price with 30%, and trying to sell it to you without ever buying it myself."

When they say: "There's some rust."
They mean: "Run for your life."

When they say: "I'm completely firm on price, don't even bother making an offer."
They mean: "I'll take $1000 off if you're serious."

When they say: "The paint is a 15 footer."
They mean: "At 14.5 feet you can tell that I put it on myself with a roller."

When they send photos of only the right side of the car and say "left side has minor paint blemishes"
They mean: "The left side may or may not exist."

When they say: "I'm gonna be real honest with 'chu"
They mean: "You can take about 45% off my price." 

When they say: "It's a solid driver quality car"
They mean: "It moves."